Friday, March 24, 2006

Respect your teachers.

Show that asshole at the chalkboard some respect kids, or you might just wind up in jail. That’s right, a 16 year old kid in Roswell is being held in custody today for making threats to blow up his school along with a few of his teachers and classmates. What’s that you say? A threat like this should be taken seriously? He might actually go crazy and kill these people? Well normally I would agree, if not for the fact that these threats were nothing more than a couple of postings on his MySpace. He does however get get credibility for referring to Columbine, and making a hit list of his would be victims.

What’s even more infuriating about the whole thing, are the students that the news channel picks to interview. The girl was so ditsy I was astounded she could stop playing with her hair long enough to speak. Let’s look at some of the finer points of her interview:

"Somebody actually told me that my name was on it, like, the hit list."
No wonder honey, I've only been looking at you for 5 seconds, and I already want you killed.
"I don’t think anybody would go through with it. And anybody who was that serious about it would have gotten caught before it happened."
Yeah I suppose you're right, administrations in this country have always been good at anticipating attacks that aren’t actually happening.

So as it stands now, "Outcast", as he calls himself on MySpace, is scheduled for trial tomorrow charged with terrorist threats against state property. I for one feel a lot safer knowing that one more MySpace terrorist is behind bars and awaiting the persecution of our flawless law system. Heres the story if you want to check it out.

~The Redneck Viking

Friday, March 10, 2006

Ode to Valentines Day.

Valentines Day, a day of love, caring, and a general reminder that we should occasionally pretend to not to hate each other. In order to better present this holiday, I've invited three guest writers to give their own view on the subject.

Oh how I love Valentines Day! The hearts! The flowers! Why it's enough to make me just want to give everyone a big hug. I sent a valentine to all of my friends, and even some people I don't know that well, maybe they'll be my friend too! I also celebrate the holiday with my apparel: I have a pink skirt, a shirt with a big red heart, and a pretty pink bow on top of my head. I think this is the best day that could ever be!

~The Girl with too much Vicodin

This is fucking pointless. The only point to this miserable excuse of a holiday is to remind us all of how alone we really are. I personally think the best way to celebrate is to have a big bonfire, cast in a handful of black roses, and then cry. Today I wore black to show everyone what's really going on. Life is pointless anyway...
Oh yeah, fuck all of you.

~The Emo kid that cries in the corner

Hi, I'm the one standing on the sidelines, watching Ms. Vicodin and Mr. Emo duke it out. Today isn't any better than any other second tier holiday. I don't need an assigned day to tell the people around me that I care about them. I see people go nuts over Valentines Day cards every year, jumping around like idiots if they get one, and sobbing in the corner if they don't. But to each his own I supposes, for now I'll be sitting up here, watching the epic battle unfold below.

~The Girl with a Brain

Well there you have it folks, three very different opinions, and only one of them sane. But hey, I'm not here to judge, make up your own mind.

~The Redneck Viking

Back to my homeland.

Whew, good to be back in good ol' New York! After being back for a total of three days, i can conclusively say that it's alot more fun up here.

Since I havn't posted for a while, let's recap:

Got back from Florida at about 1am Tuesday morning, after a 26 hour car drive (would have been faster, but I was traveling with 3 women). The next day I spent at a location which will remain undisclosed, but lets just say it was time well spent. Yesterday I learned the correct answers to the saftey test that I failed, apparently my simple philosophy of "don't die" wasn't good enough. On the plus side I had a very promising interview with a woman from Yale, so hopefully that'll work in my favor.

In related news, I might actually get into college soon. Decisions come in the mail March 15th, so keep your fingers crossed.

Thats about it for now, hopefully the weather will permit some actual rowing today, and maby even some photo ops.

~The Redneck Viking